Are You Proud of Who You Are?

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Now, ask yourself, do those two answers align? Are you working towards being the person you want to be?

Over the summer, I made the decision to take myself out of something that was not necessarily bad for me, but wasn't good for me either; that did not fit my character and help me be the person I want to be each morning when I wakeup. But it was not a simple decision, as silly as that sounds. It was something I toyed around with in my head for weeks and weeks and weeks. And the funny thing is, I had my answer in the back of my mind the entire time. But I was waiting for others to tell me what to do, to make the decision for me. I would talk to lots of different people, get their opinions and nothing really resonated with me, just making me feel more confused. Nothing was resonating with me, I come to realize, because nothing was opening my eyes or my heart to the thought already drilled in the back of my mind by me all along. Essentially, I was holding myself back from one simple step towards becoming the person I wanted to be. Nothing made me open my eyes to this though, until this conversation....

I am sitting on my porch over FaceTime with the wise Mr. Evan G., who is the most unapologetically himself, careless (in the best way), amazing, inspirational person I know. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hollie. I know this sounds cheesy, just hear me out. Imagine sitting in a movie theater, and imagine watching a movie of your life, where YOU are the main character (from an outsiders view in). Who would your character be? And what would you be proud of? What decision would that character make in all of this that you would have so much respect for and give so much props? That, that is your answer." And it all clicked. Who is the character I would be proud of, I asked myself. I would be proud of the fearless girl who did her own thing, with nobodies ideas behind that decision but her own, who didn't give a damn what anybody thought of it and just went for it, all in, no doubt, no regret.

Turns out, that simple decision ended up being one of the absolute best decisions for me ever. And Ev was right, I could not be more proud of that fearless girl, who just went for it and didn't give a damn what anybody thought.

Life is full of so many instances that will make you question your decision(s). You cannot avoid them. But, you can learn to acknowledge them and to be your own answer, whatever that may be...

Here are my two pieces of advice:

1). If something doesn't align with your character (present or the one you're working towards), it is never worth it.

2). Take a step back, watch your movie and do what you would be proud of in the future, days, weeks or years from now. Make yourself proud, by yourself.